To be who I am, without reservation or fear. That is my ultimate wish. I can't expect myself to be perfect at fifteen, twenty, or even twenty-five. Life is a growing process, a journey that we are all individually on. And who are we to choose our paths for ourselves? It's like we're trains on the tracks we call life. We cannot choose where we go; it is chosen for us, predetermined by whatever fate there is you make out to be. But what happens when we change tracks, and we don't know what lies ahead? Then we must simply hang on for the ride, and never take it for granted, because you never know when it will be over.
My ultimate goal in life is to accept this fate and to live within its means; to not sit idly in the station but to rise to the occasion and move. For we do sit on the tracks of destiny, but destiny will not come for us if we do not fuel our own engines and spin our own wheels. Who will do it for us? God will not come down from the sky and direct us on where to go (and if He does, you are one lucky person). It is up to us to listen to the hearts He has given us, to know the difference between right and wrong, and to follow our hearts into the right.
If your heart loves God, then everything you do, as long as it is ultimately for Him, will glorify Him and make your own life brighter. For an example, God gave me an ability to create -- I call it 'weaving.' i can weave music and craft stories in strangely similar ways. This process has been a part of my life ever since I was born; it invades my life and can actually make it impossible for me to function. To live without this pattern of weaving would be to, simply, not live...and to live is to glorify God. Therefore, the more I weave, the more I glorify God.
And this can work for anybody. The more you dance, the more you sing, the more you breathe, the more you sell, the more you clean, the more you serve, the more you build, the more you live, the more you honor Him, the more you spin your wheels and get that center circuit of yours pulsing, sending yourself racing along your track to your ultimate destiny.
I was once told that, yes, you're supposed to think outside the box, but the 'box' in our lives is represented by God's rules for us, set because He loves us. I respect the box. But I often go specifically mess up the rules just because I can, because I believe that a mess can be as beautiful as something perfect and clean. We're all human, after all, right? We really can't see anything perfect on Earth. I mean, even the Bible has gone through fifteen bajillion translations, and people fight all the time about which one is right. I'd rather hold something broken and praise it for being itself, for being as beautiful as it can be, than strive all my life to find something perfect (other than Jesus) in vain. It brings to mind the "footless pidgeons" that I see at the ferry often. God knows how these pidgeons ended up without feet, but they can still fly, right? They're still going, doing their thing. Just because they have no feet doesn't mean they can't fly -- or even that they're not pidgeons. Are we supposed to condemn the pidgeons because they're dirty or footless? Because they can fly on their own -- something we, as humans, can't do. And they don't complain about the fact that they don't have feet. They just keep going, keep flying, keep on keeping on.